Thought #1:
"The sportos and motor heads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads...they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."*
So why is this person Ferris so likable?
Thought #2:
There are as many variations of gender in humans as there are shades of color in the universe. And then you can slice those variations into multiple layers, as in:
• The gender you are presenting to the world at any given moment
• The physical gender you are born with.
• Your own image of what gender you are.
• What you have transitioned into (mentally and possibly physically).
And each layer possibly (or probably?) is different from the other layers at one time or another.
Thought #3:
Humans, being the carbon based life forms ** that they are, have a much better ability to cope with the other humans running around this planet when they are able to quickly look at you and somewhat automatically assign you to some sort of category of humanity that has been acquired in their mind, which, for right or wrong, is the label (and associated attributes) under which they will now interact with you.
Thought #4:
How do you, gentle reader, tie all this together to become a reasonably well adjusted, lovable, respected and appreciated member of the human race?
The road you choose will be much easier if you find an appropriate niche for yourself and embrace it. If your lifestyle, appearance and attitude fit one of the generally accepted categories of humanity mentioned above, you will be easily able to slip into and around social interpersonal situations because people can easily recognized your “category”, using a minimum of brainpower, and then they go on in their own world.
If you show up for a gallery opening wearing torn sweatpants and a top you got from Goodwill that’s three sizes too large for you, people will look at you strange and look for more signs and signals to help them figure out just what or who you are.
As an example, I’m a professional businesswoman, working at a Fortune 1000 high tech company. I wear work appropriate clothes on the job, and off the job, I wear nice, attractive outfits. Lord knows I will never win a beauty pageant, or even be what most people would consider pretty. But I try to blend in and look like I belong, and as a consequence, I’m always accepted as the woman I am, be it at the farmer’s market, Target, Macy’s, ecology walk, church, Starbucks, pride event, or the TSA security at the airport.
I also try to engage people. Smile a lot, ask them open ended questions, listen to their answers so you have more questions to ask them, and generally try to draw them out. I typically end up knowing much more about them, share very little about myself, and we both walk away feeling good because we had a nice conversation with someone else.
Something to think about!
* purloined from the film “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, in which Grace, Principal Rooney's secretary, explains to the dean about Ferris' popularity.
** With a long and respectful appreciation for Douglas Adams and his Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series of books. Don't leave the planet without your blanket!
