The Scene
Several years ago I was at church, helping my fellow members of the woman's group get ready for a craft and rummage sale. We had brought in several boxes of items from our cars, and realized that the folding tables so prevalent in church meeting rooms had not been set up yet. They were leaning against a wall out in the adjoining hallway, waiting for someone big and strong to set them up.
Years ago, when I was young and male, I would have manhandled (pun intended) each table into it’s full upright position. Now however, I was surrounded by nine other women, all of which were standing around looking at the folded tables and the open space they should have been occupying, and three of them in various stages of expressing their emotions, varying from annoyance at the men who had agreed to help, to frustration at men in general.
[women – you need to practice this: when you are in a situation with at least one other women (and no men immediately near by) and something distasteful happens because of something a man did or didn’t do, you have to look at the other woman, slightly roll your eyes, and state in a stage whisper “men!”, keeping your voice in a lower pitch and rolling it out just like you have eaten a bad olive. The other woman should instantly look at you and agree, thereby further bonding the two of you together. I love doing this now! ]
I softly suggested to a close friend that three or four of us might be able to set the tables up ourselves, and Ellen looked at me like I crazy, and told me “that’s what the men are for! They will get it done in a minute . . . “
I understood, took the hint, and learned a lesson here.
Women:
Just because you may have been big and strong in a past life, and unless you are going for the “bull dyke” look and attitude (NTTIAWWT), you should not go around doing anything that will give anyone an indication how strong you are. People can get uncomfortable around physically strong women, they look at you kind of funny, and possibly start wondering about stuff you really don't want them to think about. Also you need to consider that after maybe 6 months of hormones, those husky male muscles you used to have are now starting to get smaller and weaker, and besides, it’s always more fun to talk to a guy, maybe even flirt some, and get them to help you.
Men:
You are now among the strong and the supportive. Get those muscles fired up, and as corny as it sounds, it never hurts to volunteer to help a woman move or lift something. It’s a great way to meet people. You practice your interpersonal skills, and in most cases, you walk away feeling a little better about yourselves.
So here is your homework:
- Keep your awareness up so that you don’t get into a situation where you are exhibiting more strength than would be expected (or conversely, trying to do something you are not strong enough to do).
- If you see someone needing help, ask them and then step in and help them out.
- If you need help, smile a lot and ask nicely for help.
- And Girls, practice that "Men!" verbalization above, and use it!
