Passing Through the TSA

The Situation:

I had an opportunity to fly to another city to attend a trade conference. I seriously doubted that I would meet anybody I know, so I figured that this would be a perfect opportunity to take an entire trip en-femme! Unfortunately, I don't dress 100% en-femme, so all my government issued identity cards still have my male name on them.

After some research on the web, talking with friends and a TSA official, I was convinced that this is doable, so I made my reservations (in my male name) for the airline tickets.

Travel Day:

I'll have to admit that I was apprehensive. I wore a cute top, fashionable jeans, and flats. You still have to take your shoes off, and I have seen too many women struggle with getting tall boots on and off in the security line, and thought that this was too much to hassle with on this trip.

I first walked up to the airline counter to check my luggage, and the nice lady did look me up and down twice, finally smiled with a slight lean to her head, and wished me good travels. I passed the first hurdle!

I then stood in line and eventually reached the first security checkpoint, where they verify your identity. I gave them my passport (more on this in the homework section below) and my boarding pass, and waited. No bells went off. No doors flew open with storm troopers coming out. The TSA man did look at my face closely several times, then made the appropriate notations on the boarding pass, and said "Thank you" with a nod of his head towards the next line. That was it! I made it!

The X-ray line was cakewalk, as I had already taken all my jewelry off and was not wearing an underwire bra, so I collected my handbag and shoes, and off to the gate where I put my earrings, necklace, watch and bangles back on.

The rest of the trip was uneventful, and I was even asked if I needed help in collecting my luggage off the conveyor.

The Return Trip:

This was also the same treatment, looking between my face and the passport several times, but then saying "Thank you" and that was it!

So here is your homework:

1. Plan on traveling en-femme when it's appropriate!
2. Stay calm and collected when you travel. If you appear very anxious or uneasy, they will pick up on that and you will raise a red flag with security.
3. I would strongly suggest that you carry your driver's license and your passport with you when you travel, and use your passport for the identity confirmation. My logic in this is that when you take your ID out and hold it in your hand for a while, you have a larger probability of loosing it or misplacing it. Something you really don't want to do when traveling dressed! When you carry two separate IDs, even if you do happen to misplace your passport, you still have your driver’s license safely tucked away in your purse, so you can still get back home, rent a vehicle, a hotel room, and so on.
4. Enjoy your self and stay in the moment. As a women, you definitely have to pay more attention to your personal safety, and staying alert to your surroundings is the first step.

Bon Voyage my friend!

Acceptance Hands Down!

So here is the scene:

You are fashionably dressed and sitting in a popular coffee shop with a friend discussing the latest movies over coffee, when the hostess seats a nice looking couple at the table next to you.

The man, of course, will glance at your face to see if it falls into a traditionally wide acceptable range, and then automatically shift to your chest and what he can see of your butt and long legs. No surprises there.

But what will the woman look at? Chances are she will start with your hair, then face and makeup, then your outfit, and then to your hands.

Based upon her observations, she will decide if you are a threat to the relationship she has with the man, partially based upon your hands and if you are wearing a wedding ring.

So why the hands?

Several reasons:

Do you have a wedding ring? No ring probably means you are looking for companionship; and her companion is right beside you.

Do you take care of your hands and nails? This is a good indicator of how you take care of yourself overall. Dry and rough hands are very obvious!

Your hands will also help revel your true age to help her in your assessment of you.

So how should you take care of your hands?

* Avoid letting them dry out by always using hand lotion.
* Keep your cuticles in shape.
* Your nails should always be clean, nicely shaped, and even across all fingers. You definitely don’t want a nail or two broken back to the quick while the rest are long!
* If you can, keep a layer of clear polish on to protect them. I personally have trouble doing this as the polish tends to wear off on spots after a day or two. Very unbecoming.
* If you can, a manicure even now and again is very nice! Not only will they make your hands look beautiful, but they typically also massage your fingers, hand and wrist. I love that part!

You should also consider making sure that you keep shaving off any hair on your fingers. Unfortunately it's kind of a giveaway, as I found out several years ago.

It was Halloween, and I was dress to the nines in this cute outfit I had picked up. I stopped for a moment in a small store on the way to my destination, and as I finished my purchase, the gentleman behind the counter asked if I was in costume. I kind of sheepishly grinned and confirmed his suspicions. He told me that I looked very convincing (for which I'm still grateful ;-), but then he told me that it was the hair on my fingers that gave me away.

Lesson learned for this girl!

So here is your homework:

1. Pay careful attention to your hands so that you can easily recognize when they are dry.
2. Always use lotion on them and don’t let them dry out.
3. Keep your fingernails clean.
4. After showering, use an “orange stick” to push up the cuticles.
5. Keep your nails filed and nicely shaped.

Stay beautiful!

Linda

Your 201 Checklist!

Here Is The Scene:

You are supposed to meet a girlfriend for brunch but are still at home, it's taken an hour to get ready, and while you are slightly frazzled and running late, you are just about to walk out the door.

So what is the last thing you should do before grabbing your purse?

Use Your 201 Checklist!

I developed this technique after repeatedly leaving the house missing one thing or another. So just before I leave, I stop and mentally run through this list to make sure I'm ready to meet the outside world.

Start at the top of your head:

• Hair looks good from front, sides, and back.
• I remembered to use hairspray (if needed).

• I have my earrings on and they go with the outfit.

• My make-up looks good, and is well blended.
• No black blobs of mascara where they don't belong.
• Lipstick looks good.
• No lettuce or other food on the teeth.

• Slight hint of perfume.

• Necklace in place and positioned properly.
  

• All the buttons on the top properly fastened.
• The girls are where they should be.
• Your top and skirt are not inadvertently tucked in somewhere.
• Skirt, slacks or jeans look good. No spots, cat hair, or open zippers or buttons.

• You have your watch, rings, bracelets you wanted to wear.

• If you have hose on, it's straight with no runs.
• Your shoes look good and they are clean with no major scuffs

And finally...

• I have my keys, cell phone, purse, makeup case, and anything else I was supposed to bring with me!

So there you go. Feel free to suggest things I might have overlooked!

Handwriting and Voice

It's pretty much a given that all of us need to keep practicing our voice from now to doomsday, especially if you wish to sound completely convincing over the phone. I know I do, I accept that, and I keep working on that.

But handwriting remains my other challenge, and this is a not so obvious downfall. Especially at times like yesterday, when I was over at Nordstrom's Rack, and found a great pair of Not Your Daughters Jeans. I love the fit and the styles, but typically they run around $115 a pair. The Rack had several styles on sale for under $40, which is too nice of a deal to pass up!

So after standing in line and practicing tossing my hair over my shoulder a few times, I pulled my credit card out, handed it to my cashier, and then proceeded to sign my name to the charge slip.

And then it struck me. I have the handwriting of a deranged scribbler, and I should have the very neat and precise cursive handwriting as my Mother proudly displayed for many years. Which means . . .

Homework Assignment to Self:

Practice my handwriting till it's neat and precise, and would make my Mother proud.

What's This Mean?

Trans-Dar - this is a spin-off of the word radar, with the implication that occasionally a person can sense when a person that they are watching is a transgender. A synonym of Gaydar.

Welcome to Passing 201

Welcome to my Passing 201 blog, where our goal is to help you present yourself as the wonderful person you are and be completely accepted by whomever you encounter.

So if this is the 201 class, so to speak, what is 101 then?

I'd consider your "101" education as those first steps into the world as the person you want to be. Maybe not completely "dressed", possibly hyper-ventilating occasionally as I did, probably scared to death that someone would catch you.

But you have survived those first tentative steps like many of us have, you have learned the basics, and now you need to evolve to the next level not only for your own sanity, but so that you feel very comfortable and accepted by the people you encounter.

Welcome!

By discussing a wide variety of topics, including how to interact with people, clothes, accessories, make-up, poise & movement, finance, and security, and getting the feedback and suggestions of our peers through this blog format, we really hope that we can all evolve and grow into the people we need to be.

I'll also be adding resources and tools to help you as needed. And as always, feedback only helps everyone to learn and grow!

Hugs,

Linda